Not a paper tiger....but another paper thingy...

Because of my cleaning, I now possess a metric fuckton of shredded paper. And there is more coming. And remember how I said that this:

would be helpful? Well, with the help of the internets, I found something spiffy and that would be this: http://tinyurl.com/6n9uwj

DRY PAPER LOG MAKER

Item number: 110320637642

item on Ebay. (I really need to figure out the whole tiny URL dealie... maybe I can do that tomorrow)(Update...Yay Tiny URL!). Thing is, the log maker is $30. Now, I know that $30 seems like a drop in the bucket but honestly, with the whole no job, no income thing, it's $30 I don't have to spend right now. But at least I know it's out there and that there is hope for making some coolio fireplace logs out of my shredded documents.

It was a pretty cool day in that there were TWO jobs to apply for today (I mean that sincerely... there are days where there isn't a goddamned new thing posted AT ALL, so to find TWO in one day... especially mid-week... is really cool).

I'm finding a couple of recurring "gosh, I wish I knew something about that" skills come up in my job searching... One is SQL and the other is a little more amorphous "web design". There is a new "Head First" book coming out on SQL and PHP that I popped onto my Amazon Wish List so I wouldn't be a dork and forget it was coming out. I really liked the Head First HTML/CSS book I was given so I have some high hopes for the SQL book in that series. Yes, I know, without having some sort of certification or some formal piece of paper saying I know something about SQL and Web Design it may well be useless for me to learn it from a "puttin' it on the resume" standpoint. But it would be nice to be able to say in interviews that I know what it is and the basics of how to work with it. I had one interview where they seemed impressed that I was trying to learn HTML/CSS on my own time (not impressed enough to offer me the job, mind you, but they did express in the interview that they were impressed).

Perhaps I'm CIA Material!

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background check, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists...
Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.